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The Communiqué

December 26th, 2012
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Dear Mr. Narayan,

Three years earlier…

The first time I saw you, I must admit I was decidedly overwhelmed by your passionate talk on the company’s upholding of diligence, employee-relationships et al as the foremost entities essential for the growth of the organization and its people. I was an impressionable student in the final year of college and thoroughly at the receiving end of the smooth corporate speech associated with campus placement.

I bawled loudly on the courier delivery boy’s shoulder when I received your job offer letter. I could not begin to explain to the startled fellow what it meant to me, to work as an Associate Consultant (Software Engineer) in this company.

Now…

I know you are not chronologically equipped to even blink at this letter. I have, thereby, chosen to garner my appreciation into the neat little table below, which, I am sure, would help you assimilate the information before your computer automatically opens the next email by pre-emption.

From the company’s Vision Book aka What we are required to comprehend

What I essentially understand

Work Perseverance It necessitates absolute physical devotion to the personal laptop, the remote access control gadget & the mobile phone even during a half-a-day family road trip to Veera Narasimha Perumal Temple.
Communication It conforms to emails, phone calls, IM, repeatedly at 3:23 AM, rousing me up from an impromptu power nap when my face would have had just met the dinner plate at 3:15 AM.

Ironically, I have not yet reached a position in the hierarchy where web conferencing, VoIP and Pod casting are approved tools of interaction.

These are also some of the reasons why I am not going to do anything as disastrous as getting myself a smart phone and ruining my life further than it already is.

I am very pleased to inform you that my ancient internet-devoid cell phone has finger-punched buttons that wheeze out words & numbers in the display very unhurriedly, and I quite like that.

Team Building The other day, for a change, I had swivelled around in my chair and was surprised to find my cubicle station empty. Apparently, two of my teammates had been transferred to the Chikmagalur workplace (we have a branch there?), and the third, a girl, had taken it off on account of maternity leave. I did not even know she had got married sometime in the three years which I spent nose-glued to my computer monitor.My team so far consists of the night watchman who manages my entry into and exit from the office building for all the emergency meetings at all odd hours and the client’s undying voice on the other end of the line.
Goal Orientation
  1. Short term goals: To run to the cafeteria five floors below, get myself a cup of acidic coffee and a plate of oily samosas and race back to my desk, en masse within the gap of a pause between two words uttered by the client over the phone.
  2. Long term goals: To nearly recognize my friends and family if I chance upon them on one of those rare occasions when all of us are in the state of consciousness at the same time in the same time zone.
Safe Environment The work ambiance leaves me with no doubt as to the ample security that it provides. After putting in about 119 hours of white collar labour per week, I do not get so much as a glance from any member of the opposite sex. Currently, I am so hard of hearing that my archetypal biological clock has probably got to amplify its ticking noise several fold.
Incentives
  1. I get to keep my independence and the right to make my own decisions since I don’t even have time to meet any prospective suitors for marriage, forget getting married.
  2. It is funny how the client thinks I am on his company’s pay and bonus scale.

To mince words, I quit.

Yours faithfully,

Meenakshi Thothadri

Burned Out

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